A set of behaviors that recognize differences and build mutual respect.
A tool to deliver productive results through Civil discourse.
Comprised of self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship management, communications, growth and problem-solving skills and behaviors.
A habit.
A choice (intentional).
Based on the universal values of human dignity, respect, acceptance, responsibility, constructiveness, intentionality and public-spiritedness.
A moral system but not a replacement for religious, philosophical or political systems.
Viral; a virtuous/vicious cycle.
Nonpartisan.
Ecumenical.
Teachable.
A blend of thinking, feeling and doing.
A social norm.
Consistent with human nature.
Actionable.
An aspirational ideal, never fully achieved.
A builder of trust, community, common good and institutions.
A self-maintaining social system.
Supported by world religions and secular humanism.
Informed by modern social science.
Practiced in personal, work, play, church, sports, media, union, culture, service, government and political environments.
Required for democracy.
Inspired by self-interest, situations, personality, identity, civic duty, patriotic duty, cultural duty, religious duty and philosophical duty.
NOT too simple, complex, moderate, extreme, soft, hard, liberal or conservative.
A solution to our challenges of political polarization, selfish media, radical individualism, limits of human nature, skepticism, our secular age, imperfect myths and insecurity.
Civility is based upon 7 values: human dignity, respect, acceptance, responsibility, constructiveness, intentionality and public-spiritedness. These values have been identified as the foundation of Civility because they work together with the 7 Civility behaviors to deliver results while recognizing differences and building mutual respect through civil discourse.
Deliver Results
The values strongly drive the 7 sets of behaviors.
The values and behaviors produce the desired results.
Society is more productive.
Civility behaviors become habits, valuable assets.
People are engaged, their capabilities employed.
Creative and cooperative solutions are generated.
Build Relations
Build communications skills.
Provides a safe environment which encourages interactions.
Creates a positive climate and expectations.
Promotes positive expectations and attitudes.
Reduces social tensions and anxiety.
Promotes trust in people, groups and institutions.
Builds a sense of teamwork, community and common purpose.
Adequate
Addresses real differences of experiences, interests, power and views.
Sustainable
Encourages consideration of long-term consequences.
Emphasizes the nature of repeated conversations and negotiations.
Inserts the common good as a meaningful objective and factor to consider.
Invests in the process.
Supports the needs of all participants.
Reduce Costs
Minimizes lost participation, ideas, solutions, compromises.
Reduces overall communications, legal and transaction costs.
Discourages destructive discourse, threats and behaviors.
Avoid and resolve conflicts.
Broadly Supported
Historically used by many cultures and traditions.
Consistent with lists of common moral values.
Commonly described by popular and academic writers.
Generally supported by the average person.
Nonpartisan.
Ecumenical, not promoting one religion or denomination.
Broadly Applied
Values and behaviors in family, neighborhood, work, play, church and civic situations.
Support Democracy
Provide moral/community basis for political participation, engagement, voting, funding, service, and legal compliance.
Actionable
Mutually consistent, supportive, connected values and behaviors.
Limited set of values with clear definitions and complementary taboos.
Consistent with human nature, even if requiring education and moral effort.
Values and behaviors can be taught, practiced and improved.
Consistent with the findings of modern social sciences.
Powerful
Values are deeply felt, motivating their adoption, cultivation and application.
Consistent with the virtuous cycle of reinforcement through social interactions.
Intuitive definition and connection with practical and moral life.
Connected with the religious and philosophical vertical dimension of life.
The Vertical Dimension of Experience Supports the Civility Values
All people experience the universe as something much larger, more complex, abstract and mysterious than their direct, personal lives. They try to make sense of the whole and determine their place and meaning. They sense that there are things beyond the materialistic human scale experience. They feel separation and long for a stronger connection with the whole. They experience parts of the larger universe which they cannot fully capture. Love, beauty, change, consciousness, art, music, science, intuitions, mysteries, miracles, myths, stories, awe, infinity, eternity, transcendence, dimensions, time, responsibility, sacred, pure, form, structure, number and mathematics all point to something “more”.
Some identify and experience God, gods, even a personal God. Others see structure, laws, nature, spirits or forces.
The key is the separation of the individual from the universe and the experienced relationship. The individual is not alone. He is connected to the source. He has neighbors who seem to be in the same situation. He experiences vertical and horizontal relationships.
The source has provided life to all men. They are in the same position. They deserve respect.
Men understand something of the universe. They connect with the source. They appreciate the structure. They are self-aware. They exist. Human dignity makes sense.
Men are not the center of the universe. There are many creatures. There are many other men. Variety is everywhere. Men and women differ. Children and relatives differ. Men experience growth, development and change. They expect change and diversity.
Men experience freedom of choice. They appreciate and defend this natural liberty. They believe they have “free will”. They seem to have a consistent “self” to speak with. They have logical capabilities. They can plan and execute.
Men experience logical yes and no. They see opposites. They sense “right and wrong”. They see and punish unfairness. They are socialized by experience, parents and neighbors. They live in a moral universe. Accountability arises from this environment.
Men live in communities. They are subject to the seasons, nature, disease, invaders and the weather. Their lives and fates are intertwined. They produce, learn, play and worship together. They are interdependent. They benefit from trade. Communities transmit culture, history and myths. The public good is self-evident in most human communities.
Man exists. He is self-aware. He experiences pleasure and pain. Nature provides resources. He experiences joy and sorrow. He manages many fears and threats. Yet, he sings and celebrates. He benefits from a positive world view.
In each case, men have natural experiences, vertically connected with nature, the universe, the source of being. This connection provides meaning, certainty, hope and safety. These values are natural values, that can be supported without making specific religious, scientific or philosophical claims.
How the Vertical Dimension Supports Civility: Google AI – April 8, 2026
The vertical dimension of life—often defined as one’s connection to a higher power, transcendent values, or a “higher self”—is deeply connected to civility, as it serves as an internal, ethical anchor that encourages treating others with respect, dignity, and care. While horizontal actions deal with navigating daily, material life, the vertical dimension focuses on inner transformation and accountability to a standard higher than oneself, which is often crucial for fostering public-mindedness and genuine connection with others.
• Foundation for Universal Respect: A vertical orientation provides a basis for recognizing that all individuals possess innate worth and dignity, independent of their social standing or whether one “likes” them. This “internal disposition of the heart” encourages respect for the “other,” ensuring individuals treat people as moral equals.
• Transcending Self-Interest: The vertical dimension cultivates a sense of awe and gratitude (an awe-based approach to the Divine or the cosmos) which encourages us to look beyond our own immediate interests and ego. This shift in consciousness moves people from a “me” focus to an “eco” or “us” focus, which is essential for community building and civility.
• Ethical Accountability: It brings a deeper awareness of the impact of one’s actions on others and fosters responsibility, self-awareness, and self-restraint. This often manifests as a “vertical” obligation to follow moral laws that transcend personal desires, leading to more respectful interaction.
• Disagreement Resolution: Authentic civility, rooted in this dimension, allows individuals to respectfully handle disagreements and navigate differences in public conversation rather than simply avoiding conflict.
Vertical vs. Horizontal Dimensions of Life
• Horizontal Dimension: Refers to the visible, life-in-time, material aspects of existence, where one tries to improve circumstances or “fix” things. It can sometimes lead to superficial politeness or a “socially controlled” adherence to norms rather than genuine care.
• Vertical Dimension: Focuses on the “Being” or the internal, non-physical plane of life, which brings peace and allows for better navigating of the horizontal plane.
In summary, the vertical dimension acts as the “inner soil” that nourishes civic behavior (public-mindedness), ensuring that interactions with others are grounded in deeper, shared principles of respect rather than just superficial politeness.
Civility faces many challenges to survive and thrive. It possesses many advantages.
Conceptually
They say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. The umbrella terms liberal and conservative are inadequate to political dimensions and individuals. Despite DEI politics, most Americans support diversity, equal opportunity and acceptance. Thought leaders realize there is no alternative to Civility for a modern society to function. We define “certainty” for science and religion. We have post-Newton insights in the last 100 years. We understand “victim” language. We can help ourselves and our friends to reject this burden.
Logically
Civility encourages us to accurately diagnose the current situation. Despite political extremism, instrumental logic and facts rule the scientific and business worlds. Civility is designed to be nonpartisan, allowing political parties to embrace this approach to effectiveness. The 7 Civility values are equally attractive to liberals and conservatives. Civility is able to promote public-spiritedness without leaning left.
Morally
The Civility behaviors are mostly consistent with human nature. The rest can be taught. In a time of advanced technologies and artificial intelligence, focusing first on human dignity is wise. While Civility focuses on behaviors and a few values, it can be driven by more emotional values. We better understand the benefits and limits of tolerance and its role as a social value. Most people see the costs of extreme individualism to themselves, family, neighbors and coworkers. By highlighting the habit of skepticism, we can greatly reduce its poisonous impact.
Progressively
The track record of modern society solving problems is very strong. Our world has an increasing experience base of finding both/and descriptions and solutions. We do have a long track record of reducing our perceptions of “the other” as a threat. We have more experience outsourcing government functions to reduce the sense of intrusion. The change is based on incremental improvements rather than heroic efforts and projects. Modern communications capabilities can effectively promote moderate, complex, less emotional positions. As Robert Putnam documents in The Upswing, we have revised our social institutions before.
Powerfully
Civility is supported by a super majority of independents, Republicans and Democrats. Corporations need Civility to operate complex organizations. They will recruit, train and reward Civility. Civility embraces a wide diversity or political and religious beliefs. Civility is supported by many churches, businesses, professions, universities and governments. Leaders of Europe’s more secular democracies strongly embrace Civility. There is no fundamental opposition to Civility by China’s leaders. Civility is strongly supported by the major religions. The 7 Civility values are supported by all major religions and philosophies. Unquestioned religion or scientism are dead. Better insights and communication are possible. The Catholic church can strongly support Civility. Protestant churches can support Civility without overemphasizing “social justice”.
Politically
Societies have always had political differences. Our differences are no greater than in history. In the American 2-party system, the center normally has extra political weight. Political parties, groupings, ideologies and polarization naturally change through time. We have 50 years of post-60’s social policy debates. We know that we will always disagree on some things. The diversity of states allows the benefits of federalism to accrue with better policies emerging. The reliance of the classical liberal political model on shared values is better recognized. The unintended consequences of politically extreme policies become obvious in time.
The impossibility of extreme political parties/factions delivering on their promises becomes apparent. Ironically, liberals have become “cultural conservatives”, promoting a 250-year-old approach. Liberals increasingly see the value of allowing states to determine social and economic policies. Some liberals see that 100% enforcement of social policies drives strong opposition for little benefit. Broadly defined insecurity has become a political priority that will generate nonpartisan solutions.
Educationally
Modern cognitive science, counselling and organizational behavior are highly effective. By defining Civility as a set of behaviors, we make it teachable, actionable and leverageable.
The Civility lessons are straightforward, allowing many to lead workshops. Solid Civility lesson plans can be developed in many places and used everywhere. We can fine-tune and package hundreds of Civility training exercises to serve everyone. Organizations and individuals can rely upon counselling, groups and training. We can greatly improve our school curriculums to teach Civility as a solution to real differences. Civility is practiced and improved in all arenas of life. Improvements are leveraged.
Virally
In a highly specialized world, there are more opportunities to apply Civility “win-win” principles. Civility is not an “all or nothing” set of behaviors. Incremental progress is normal. The more challenging Civility behaviors can be practiced in safer, local environments. Local expectations of Civility allow all individuals to apply and grow these behaviors. Civility can be practiced in any environment without permission from anyone. Civility skills, values, beliefs can be developed and applied without any approvals. The virtuous cycle of Civility applies at levels. Good behavior or feedback drives more good behavior. The practice of Civility generates “positive externalities” for others. The state should support it. The practice of Civility provides a role model for others to emulate. Social norms are very powerful. Most people learn them implicitly. Civility behaviors can become habits which then apply without thought or effort.
Beneficially
Every person can serve as a Civility ambassador, champion or “civiliteer”. High-level Civility skills are personally and professionally highly valuable. The Civility emphasis on self-awareness and values clarification can improve quality of life. Humans have much in common and can learn this. Americans have much in common. We understand “human nature” deeply, so can adjust to leverage strengths and patch weaknesses. Americans are proud of their political system and will invest in Civility to preserve it. Civility’s focus on human dignity supports the modern high importance of personal identity. As individuals seek validation of their identities, Civility can help to facilitate good conversations. Our greatly improved understanding of behavioral economics provides new policy opportunities.
Summary
The modern approach to improving and installing Civility as a major social norm is audacious, yet it has great support.
The 1960s are considered a massive cultural shock because they marked a rapid, comprehensive rejection of traditional 1950s social norms, fueled by a booming youth population, the Vietnam War, and mass media. It shattered established authority in politics, race relations, gender roles, and lifestyle, shifting Western society toward personal liberation. Google AI – April 6, 2026
Key Factors Behind the 1960s Cultural Shift:
Counterculture and Lifestyle: A youth-driven movement rejected conventional morality, embracing “free love,” casual sex, drug use, communal living, and distinct fashion changes like the miniskirt and long hair.
Civil Rights and Equality: The struggle for racial equality transformed society, punctuated by the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Voting Rights Act of 1965, alongside the rise of second-wave feminism.
The Vietnam War and Anti-War Protests: The war, amplified by television, created a “credibility gap” between government claims and reality, sparking intense youth protest and mistrust of authority.
Technological and Social Changes: The proliferation of television created a unified media experience, while the advent of “the Pill” significantly altered sexual norms and gender dynamics.
Musical and Artistic Explosion: Music, particularly rock and folk, became a vessel for social critique and the unification of a new generation (e.g., Woodstock).
A “Bridge” Decade: The 1960s acted as a transition from the conservative, black-and-white media era to the more permissive, colorful “modern” world, with technological advancements like early satellite communication and computers.
This period is unique because it forced a shift from traditional institutional authority (church, family, state) to personal authenticity, empathy, and moral sensitivity.
The decline in Civility is intertwined with other changes in society. We’ll share the 6 root causes. Fortunately, the recovery of Civility can help to address each of the 6 root causes of decline. Radical individualism, human nature, skepticism, our secular age, imperfect myths and insecurity.
There has been a groundswell of interest in addressing the loss of Civility in modern society. Members of both parties, young and old, rural, urban and suburban have begun to engage on this important topic. Civility is treating others with respect, especially when you disagree. It is a mental attitude, a habit, a character trait, a set of actions. Civility is a key to effective life in community, especially for participating in a democratic government.
Yet, I will argue that the loss of Civility is a symptom of much larger challenges rather than a root cause.
Our current challenging social and political situation is driven by the root causes of individualism, skepticism secularism, inadequate myths, human nature and insecurity. In a word: negativity. Civility embraces constructiveness, intentionality and public-spiritedness as clearly “positive” values. It is also based upon the “positive” values of human dignity, respect and acceptance. Is it reasonable to be so positive in a time of negativity driven by politicians, the media and our fellow citizens? The answer is “yes”. We have chosen to emphasize our challenges rather than our accomplishments. Those who pursue Civility need to be aware of the reality of modern progress, conditions in all areas of life and realistic opportunities for change.
Overall Good News
Improvements in all areas of life since the 1976 bicentennial are amazing!
Civility is a social norm and a set of behaviors based upon a set of shared values. We address public morality, the 7 Civility values and their broad support from different belief systems.
Morality
Thought leaders increasingly embrace the need for some kind of commonly held public morality to replace the historical background of Christianity and Western civilization.
Respect, responsibility, honesty, compassion and fairness comprise one set of values to consider.
Rabbi Sacks provides historical context of the ideas that have led to an “I” focused culture, outlines the symptoms of a weakened “We” culture, and provides some insights as to what can be done. He combines a politically and economically moderate view with a conservative social perspective.
“We will have to rebuild families and communities and voluntary organizations. We will come to depend more on networks of kinship and friendship. And we will rapidly discover that their very existence depends on what we give as well as what we take, on our willingness to shoulder duties, responsibilities, and commitments as well as claiming freedoms and rights.”
Teddy Roosevelt: “The first duty of an American citizen, then, is that he shall work in politics; his second duty is that he shall do that work in a practical manner; and his third is that it shall be done in accord with the highest principles of honor and justice.” The citizen should be like his “man in the arena”, fully engaged in important matters.
Brooks offers 15 solutions. Live for holiness. Fight selfishness. Use your heroic capacity to struggle against external and internal challenges. Humility is the first virtue. Pride is the central vice. Struggle against sin and for virtue. Purposely build character skills, habits, experiences and preferences. Focus on the long-term, permanent attributes of life. Seek help in building character. Recognize the U-shaped pattern of falling, evaluating, feeling and accepting grace and recovering. Quiet the self enough to listen and defeat weaknesses and temptations. Aim for a practical wisdom built upon experience and history rather than a perfect ideology, theology or philosophy. Organize work around a “vocation” and do your best. Define leadership as finding “a just balance between competing values and competing goals”. Embrace the path of becoming better in your vocation and better as a person. That is the opportunity we are given.
Jonathan Haidt and his colleagues have developed a set of 9 intuitive moral values that are consistent with evolutionary psychology insights. Amateur psychologists appreciate the Myers-Briggs model while professionals promote the “Big 5” personality traits. Google AI allows us to relatively quickly check our intuitive sense of how the moral values connect with the personality traits.
Professor Haidt’s work emphasizes that moral values are part of our internal makeup based upon evolution, especially recent evolution into a social and cultural species. His team promotes the “rider and elephant” model that asserts that we acquire and reflect deep-seated moral, political and religious views in an intuitive fashion. We only use our rider/rational character to defend/explain our choices from time to time. This was developed independently of Daniel Kahneman’s system 1, system 2 “thinking fast and slow model”. We mostly think fast/intuitively but are able to think slow/rationally as required. The “Moral Foundations Theory” team says that we are 90% selfish chimp and 10% cooperative bee. We are now a hybrid species.
Dr. Haidt is an intuitive, experiential liberal whose academic/scientific work forced him to re-examine his moral beliefs and biases, and those of the left-leaning social sciences. His team documented that there are traditional moral values widely held throughout history and across cultures that do not comply with the dominant WEIRD model of western, educated, industrial, rich and democratic. They took the usual modern experimental psychologist steps and defined 5 moral values. They later expanded their model to 9 values, breaking fairing/no cheating into equality and proportionality and adding liberty/oppression, ownership and honor.
Their team was widely criticized from the left for challenging/undermining the prevailing views of modern moral values (stage-based development, ala Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Lawrence Kohlberg) and opposing the “conventional wisdom” of inevitable moral and cultural progress towards a liberal ideal. At an early stage, they determined that liberal individuals and politicians had a limited moral palate of just care/harm and fairness while conservative individuals and politicians appreciated care/harm and fairness and many traditional moral values. Circa 2013 they tried to convince Democrats that they were playing politics “with one arm tied behind their backs”. The team must have thought “in for a dime, in for a dollar” when they later added ownership and honor to the traditional values of loyalty, authority and purity as valid, universal, historical moral intuitions.
I will take a first pass at how moral intuitions relate to personality traits and then to political views.
Introversion versus extraversion has a limited connection with moral intuitions or politics. Both parties and philosophies attract introverts and extroverts.
Abstract, intellectual individuals emphasize care/harm and fairness/equality as their main moral virtues. Haidt and others criticize this dominant academy view as “thin morality”, inadequate for the real world of community and politics. More concrete/specific/sensing/experiential/practical people tend to also support the conservative values of ownership, loyalty, honor, authority and purity.
Open-minded “perceiving” individuals support care, equality and liberty. Their “judging” counterparts support the 5 clearly conservative values listed above and proportionality as important principles for equity.
High “feeling” individuals tend to adopt the care and equality moral possibilities. They also tend to support the more conservative value of group loyalty. High “thinking” individuals like the structure provided by proportionality, authority and honor. They also tend to be more sensitive to liberty/oppression.
The “Big 5” personality value of “openness” to new experiences is considered the most important predictor of political views by political scientists and psychologists. High openness drives moral intuitions of care and equality. Low openness leads to a preference for ownership, loyalty, honor, authority and purity.
Conscientiousness is affiliated with the conservative values of ownership, loyalty, authority and purity. Proportionality is more neutral for politics, but clearly connected here.
Agreeableness does not align with the other factors. Friendly, high feeling individuals predictably support care and equality. But they also support conservative leaning proportionality and honor. Non-agreeable individuals are more sensitive to oppression, a relatively neutral value. Non-agreeable individuals are more interested in the conservative value of property ownership.
Neuroticism is an equal opportunity offender. Tightly wound, sensitive individuals tend to support the liberal core of care and equality. They are also attracted to the “conservative” values of ownership, honor and purity.
Summary
There is a clear left-right, liberal-conservative divide in some moral intuitions and personalities. There are statistical trends and tendencies. But real individuals are more complicated. Modern individuals are more likely to consider themselves independents with a portfolio of liberal and conservative views on specific topics. Many personality dimensions are unrelated to political views. Humans have different personalities, moral intuitions and political views. There is no clear “right and wrong” view. We are stuck with each other.
I encourage all partisans to deeply consider this result. Politicians are incentivized to win. They look for the “least common denominator”, the most effective words to assemble and maintain a voting coalition. In the modern world of politically and religiously low-engagement citizens, this is a rational and winning approach. Polarization and win/lose positioning are also logical means to election and re-election.
I think that we inherently hold different moral intuitions and political views based upon our personalities and life experiences. We are stuck with each other. We need to invest in Civility to make our political systems work. We need to embrace compromise and “good enough” political results.
Good News 