Ex 10-3: Creating “Safe Spaces” for Practicing Civility
“The Courageous Circle” demonstrates how a foundation of safety allows people to take risks they would otherwise avoid.
The Setup (2 Minutes)
* The Rule: Establish a “Civility Protocol.” For the next 15 minutes, everyone agrees to:
1. Listen to understand, not to rebut.
2. Suspend judgment (replace “That’s wrong” with “Tell me more”).
3. Acknowledge intent (assume everyone is acting in good faith).
Step 1: The “Safe” Share (4 Minutes)
Ask everyone to pair up. Each person has 90 seconds to share a low-stakes opinion they usually keep to themselves (e.g., “I think the 4-day work week is actually more stressful” or “I think our team meetings are 10 minutes too long”). The Goal: Practice the Civility Protocol. The listener simply nods and says, “Thank you for sharing that perspective.”
Step 2: The “Courage” Leap (6 Minutes)
In the same pairs, up the ante. Ask each person to share a professional or personal concern: (I don’t understand artificial intelligence. I no longer read a daily newspaper. I’m terrified of public speaking. I block annoying people on social media. I’m afraid democracy doesn’t work anymore.).
* The Twist: Because the first round established a “no-fire zone,” participants feel the psychological safety necessary to be vulnerable.
* The Listener’s Job: Ask one curious, non-judgmental question: “What would need to change for you to feel more confident about that?”
Step 3: The De-Brief (3 Minutes)
Bring the group back together and ask two questions:
1. “How did the Civility Protocol change your willingness to be honest in the second round?”
2. “Did it take more or less courage to speak when you knew you wouldn’t be attacked?”
The Takeaway: Civility isn’t about being “nice”; it’s about creating a predictable environment where the “cost” of being brave is lowered.
Creating safe spaces for Civility requires intentional, structured efforts to foster mutual respect, trust, and psychological safety, allowing for open dialogue without fear of harassment or personal attacks. The process involves establishing clear behavioral expectations, training participants, and modeling respectful behavior.
1. Establish Foundational Rules and Expectations
• Define Civility and Create a Code of Conduct: Clearly define what respectful behavior looks like in your context: listening without interrupting, asking curious questions rather than making assumptions, addressing conflict directly, speaking directly, exact role of tolerance, “off limits” topics or views, agreed upon taboos, positivity. This should be coordinated with the definition of your desired “corporate culture”.
• Ground Rules: Set norms to ensure shared ownership. Examples include using “I” statements, separating people from problems, avoiding “us-versus-them” language, decency, no fear, no polarization, no threats, bullying or harassment, no lies, no violence, no personal criticism, zingers, insults or sarcasm, separate facts and opinions, proactive time and topic management, welcoming “others” without condoning acts or speech, procedural rules.
• Set Confidentiality Guidelines: identity of persons, communications, quotations, photos, images, likenesses, documents, arguments, data, files, intellectual property, legal requirements and exceptions.
2. Implement Leadership and Modeling
• Lead by Example: Leaders model respectful communication, actively listen, welcome all and show empathy. Leaders use their power to prevent, stop, correct and mitigate uncivil behavior. Maintain independence as the moderator. Promote collaboration and participation.
• Acknowledge Potential Power Dynamics: Power and privilege can shape interactions. Welcome all individuals and groups to share on an equal basis. Encourage “brave spaces” that allow for vulnerability, where leaders welcome feedback and admit mistakes to show it is safe to do so.
• Ensure Accountability: Swiftly and consistently address incidents of incivility or harassment to demonstrate that respectful behavior is non-negotiable. Provide known, independent avenues for investigation of claims against leaders or participants. Use stated parliamentary procedures to manage regular interactions. Require compliance with definitions, codes, rules, procedures and rulings.
3. Cultivate an Inclusive and Welcoming Atmosphere
• Promote Inclusivity: Actively ensure that diverse perspectives are heard and valued, which builds a stronger sense of belonging. Define role of “trigger warnings” and “microaggressions”. Prohibit use of language, actions or symbols to divide or intimidate. Address history that can undermine Civility today. Share leadership opportunities. Accommodate requests for assistance. Value different intelligences, personality and learning styles.
• Create Physical/Virtual Safety: Choose accessible, neutral locations for meetings. In virtual spaces, ensure tools like closed captioning are available.
• Use Inclusive Language: Be mindful of tone and impact, avoiding discriminatory language. Welcome the use of varied languages/dialects and communications styles. Encourage but do not require participation.
4. Provide Civility Training and Tools
• Offer Civility Training: Equip people with emotional intelligence, active listening, and conflict resolution skills.
• Train Facilitators: Use trained “civility champions” to manage high-emotion conversations and guide dialogue constructively.
• Utilize De-escalation Strategies: Train participants to use techniques like CLARA (Calm, Listen, Acknowledge, Respond, Assess) to handle tense situations.
5. Sustain and Reinforce the Culture
• Recognize and Reward Civility: Publicly acknowledge individuals who demonstrate respectful, collaborative behavior.
• Encourage Feedback: Create anonymous or safe channels for feedback to assess the environment regularly. Encourage participants to directly give and welcome feedback.
• Make it Ongoing: Civility is not a one-time initiative; provide regular training and reminders of the established norms.
By implementing these steps, organizations can move from an “indifferent” space to one that actively fosters respect, increasing engagement, resolving conflict and solving problems.
[1] https://www.loebleadership.com/insights/ten-tips-creating-respect-civility-in-your-workplace
[3] https://www.inclusivv.co/blog/how-to-scale-civility-across-your-organization
[5] https://extension.unr.edu/publication.aspx?PubID=5268
[7] https://www.voiceatthetable.com/blog/7-tips-for-creating-safe-spaces-for-speaking-out/
[8] https://leadershipinspirations.com/creating-a-safe-space/
[14] https://www.iofc.ch/stories/10-tips-creating-safe-space
[16] https://safecarebc.ca/topics/respect-and-civility-in-the-workplace/
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