Tag: religion

2010 Graduates: Live a Great Life

tomkapostasyLeave a comment

Graduates, I encourage each of you to “Live a Great Life”.  This is your right, your choice and your destiny. 

We each live in three worlds: the world of commerce, the world of choice and the world of community.  I believe that “a great life” comes from balancing these three worlds.  In eighth grade, our industrial arts teacher, Mr. Laurie, told us that our first project would be a foot stool and that it would have three legs.  One student spoke up, “Mr. Laurie, I think it would be better with 4 legs”.  Mr. Laurie calmly responded, “Tom, I have found that 3 legs provide the proper balance for a successful footstool.  If you tried 4 legs, it would take you the whole semester to make them the same length and the final stool would be 3 inches tall”.  As I learned in this school, balancing the three legs of commerce, choice and community is essential to “living a great life”.

World of Commerce

The world of commerce is important as we emerge from the Great Recession.  Completing high school is a great accomplishment.  But it’s not the end of learning.  You will continue to build your problem solving and communications skills and you’ll pursue new degrees and certifications.  Lifelong learning is now required for everyone.

Our guidance counselor, Mr. McGinnis, urged us to be serious about our careers.  He said “choose something which interests you, build skills in that field and focus on one industry”.  In spite of the many options and uncertainties in life, pick that one path and treat it like it’s the only one. 

Securing employment is difficult today.  You can improve your odds by thinking about jobs from the employer’s point of view.  Employers want clear “yes” answers to three simple questions: “Can you do the job?  Are you self-motivated?  Are you manageable?”  Focus on these and you will always be an attractive job candidate.

Be confident about your economic future.  Don’t listen to the nightly news.  The sky is not falling.  The U.S. economy grows by 3% per year on average.  That doesn’t sound like much, but since the Diamond Alkali factory in Fairport closed 30 years ago, the US economy has grown by 160%, from $5 trillion to $13 trillion dollars.  There will be recessions, but you will succeed.

Education, career skills and positive attitudes will make you succeed in the world of commerce.  Always invest in yourself first.  Save the first 10% of every paycheck.  Invest it for your retirement.  When you are 53, you will thank me.

World of Choice

We also live in a “world of choice”.  In 1974, we were emerging from a “world of tradition” and sought a “world of choice” where we could “express ourselves”.  Our parents cautioned us to “be careful what you wish for”.  The number of choices and options today can be overwhelming.  You now have great responsibility for your own future. 

First, you must accept and love yourself as you are.   Believe that you were created just as you are for a purpose.  My classmate, Jim Kulma, shared a book with us in 1972. It was titled “I’m OK, You’re OK”.  It sold 15 million copies because its advice was very sound.

This is not an invitation to be self-centered.  We all need to become more self-aware.  Discover your talents and your non-talents.  Listen to others.  Seek feedback and advice. 

Because we have so many choices, engagement in life is critical.  Many adults, in their roles as workers, family and friends, choose to not fully engage in life.  They try to avoid responsibility for themselves and their choices because they are afraid of making mistakes.  Unfortunately, “there is no place to hide”.  Others will hold you accountable anyway.  Embrace responsibility and make it a habit. 

Engage in life; explore and experiment.  When you are older, you will not regret these adventures, but you might regret the things you missed.  Have the confidence to “take the road less traveled”.  As we learned playing “Milk League” baseball, “you can’t get a hit, if you don’t step up to the plate.”

View life as an exciting journey.  Don’t make it a death march in pursuit of a single goal, like career success.  Don’t think “If I only had a better job, a winning team, a better spouse, a bigger house or a full head of hair, things would be different”.  Joy comes from living life, not from dreaming about or even from reaching goals.

Accept that “life is not easy”.  Life remains a challenge.  Use the “in spite of” strategy.  In spite of the challenges, risks, hurts and pains, I will choose to do X.  If the challenges become too great, get help.  Family, friends and counselors are ready to help.  They all want you to succeed.

World of Community

We all need to earn a living and make wise choices.  But, to be happy, we must also live in the world of community.  We live in a world that glorifies material success and the individual.  However, history, science and common sense tell us that happiness does NOT come from wealth and introspection.  Happiness comes from relationships.  Every wisdom tradition, including psychology, has found that people are truly happy ONLY when they live for something outside of themselves.

In our everyday lives, family matters most.  Family life is difficult.  But, we were created to live with others.  We give and we get even more in return.  On my wife’s nightstand, there is a picture of two identical dogs sitting on a beach, much like the Fairport beach, at twilight, with the quote: “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward in the same direction”.  Invest in a high quality family life.  It will provide the greatest rewards.

Fun social groups matter.  Make time for bowling leagues, youth sports, church groups, boy scouts, girl scouts and playing cards with friends.  These low-cost activities create a high quality life.

Your local community matters.  There is great value in the familiarity, pride, loyalty and common interests of the local community.  Village residents already know this.  Your big city neighbors yearn to find this sense of place, security and belonging. 

Our national community and government also matter.  In a society with 300 million members, it is tempting to be a “free rider”.   We have found that democracy is the best form of government.  It allows the hopes and values of the people to be translated into laws to guide society.  Society needs your active involvement in the political process.  Our future depends upon it.

Finally, spiritual belief matters.  We all have a deep need to matter and to be significant.  This is fulfilled by connecting to something larger than ourselves.  We all ask the same questions: “what is the meaning of life?”, “where did the world come from?”, “why was I created?”, and “what happens in the long-run?”  These religious questions are part of our deepest nature.  Finding your relationship with eternity, mankind, truth and god is a vital part of your journey.

We live in these three worlds of commerce, choice and community.  Your generation inherits a world that is more complex, fast-paced and demanding than those of the past.  Some scholars wonder if we are “in over our heads”, with the demands of life exceeding our capabilities.  I believe that we are blessed to be able to lead even richer lives today.  I agree with the author Harold Kushner who says that God always provides each of us with the strength and capacity to make our journeys with confidence. 

On behalf of the “class of 1974” and the Fairport community, I wish each of you success on your journey.  I am confident that you are very well-prepared for the exciting worlds which lie ahead.

Both/and Trumps Either/Or

tomkapostasyLeave a comment

The business and political worlds are catching up with what the great religions have long known and science has discovered in the last 200 years.  The deepest understanding and practical progress in all fields is driven by a “both/and” approach, rather than by a deterministic “either/or” approach. 

Post-enlightenment westerners have struggled to fully digest the slippery, evolving dynamic nature of the Asian concept of yin and yang.   Many believers, clerics and secular leaders have simplified, denied or ignored the deeper meanings of the Christian trinity, relationship with Judaism and tension between the vertical (God) and horizontal (community) demands of the faith.  The fully developed religions provide training, terminology, sacraments and advice to attract, retain and grow members, without reducing “the mystery of faith” to a simple recipe.

The western scientific tradition meets the heartfelt needs of man for a deterministic description of the universe, delivering the potential for security expressed in Maslow’s “hierarchy of needs”.  Aristotle, Euclid and Newton are rightfully celebrated for their authoritative development and formalization of logic, geometry and physics.

Nineteenth and twentieth century science shattered the deterministic paradigm, replacing it with a probabilistic paradigm.  This was presaged by Hegel’s philosophical method of thesis, antithesis and synthesis.  Thomas Kuhn’s mid-twentieth century history/philosophy of science documented both the human process of how science progresses and the Necker Cube-like way in which a new paradigm destroys the old and blinds us to any new ways of perceiving.

The Heisenberg uncertainty principle demonstrated that the location and speed of material items was dependent upon the measurement applied and was inherently uncertain.  At the same time, it became clear that the location (energy level) of an electron was only probabilistic!  Kurt Godel’s impossibility theorem destroyed the hope of defining a Euclidean basis for a fully functional arithmetic and algebraic system of mathematics that could include the concept of infinity.  Darwin’s theory of evolution included the concept of random events in populations determining the future of biological species, without necessary guidance from god.  Biology then described the details of genetics, which includes random mutations, reproductive combinations, multiple genes, developmental sequences and the impact of the environment.  Freud described the role which unconscious thoughts, drives and the “mind” can play in determining consciousness and behavior.  Statisticians defined populations, estimates and metrics, emphasizing that there are inherent conflicts in making estimates.  Finally, Einstein developed the theory of relativity, making time, space, matter and gravity functions of each other.  Ironically, Einstein unsuccessfully devoted 20 years of his life to finding a unified theory that would combine all aspects of physics into a deterministic framework.

In the last 50 years we have seen the development of insightful “both/and” approaches throughout the business and political worlds.  Management has evolved from unilateral theories X, Y and Z to situational leadership which uses both task and people factors to deliver results.  Effective thinking coaches have defined the best use of convergent and divergent thinking skills or six thinking hats to improve results.  Jim Collin’s “Good to Great” book highlights the central role of a fixed vision/goal and flexible means/strategies.  Gallup’s Strengthfinder approach to personality profiles overcomes the “either/or” nature of Meyers-Briggs, concluding that some individuals do have apparently conflicting “talents”.  Bottom-up and top-down planning approaches have been incorporated into the balanced scorecard framework.  Goods production has evolved from custom craft work to mass production to a combined lean manufacturing pull system.  Goldratt’s book “The Goal” provides further insight on how defining the goal is logically distinct from the means of reaching the goal.  “Best practices” project management has evolved from informal management to fully prescribed sequential tasks to a new hybrid approach that retains the broad project stages, but allows cycles to resolve issues when needed.

In economics, the Keynesian revolution overturned “Say’s Law” which deterministically stated that supply always creates its own demand.  In governing, representative democracy seems to balance various needs.  In politics, the “third way” attempts to use market mechanisms to deliver liberal objectives.  In religion, the reformed faiths attempt to adapt received faith to current knowledge and realities.

The “both/and” approach is not inherently best, but everyone should be challenged to consider it at all times based upon its impressive track record.

I’d like to thank Mark Cavell, Annamarie Melodia Garrett and Doug Loudenslager for their contributions to identifying this pattern.