New York Times columnist Ross Douthat says he began crafting this 2020/2021 book in 2014. He argues that we are stuck in a stagnant society that has lost its ability to reach for the future. Technological, space, business, economics, politics, ideologies, and cultural achievements in the arts, film and music have lost their dynamism. We are pictured as a weak shadow of 1945, 1965 or 1975.
He argues that stagnation eventually leads to decline or disaster. His preferred future contains “growth, innovation, aesthetic reinvention and religious ferment”. Any solution must contain “zeal, coherence, mysticism and futurism”. He outlines several possible paths to decline and further stagnation.
He also describes some potential routes to a renaissance. Modified Islam. African Christianity. Expanded Chinese influence. Massive African migration and impact on Europe. Illiberal democracies like Russia gain favor. Populism governs pragmatically. Local communities flourish in the communitarian model promoted by Patrick Deneen. Nationalism recovers its power. A revised global socialism. Pure scientism. Updated paganism or polytheism. A paradigm shift that makes religion a real option for educated elites, displacing the “materialist neo-Darwinian conception of nature”. A religious “great awakening” or new delivery mechanism. A merger of scientific and religious sensibilities that recognize our unique position as self-aware humans on planet earth.
Our columnist and critic evaluates the modern world much too negatively in my view. Despite challenges, the US and global economy is doing very well. It overcame the Great Recession and the Covid Pandemic. It is adjusting to Trump’s “tariff wars”. Growth is solid, trade is growing, employment is up. The business cycle is effectively managed. Productivity growth continues. These economies are resilient, reflected in stock market values. There are greater inequality and rent-seeking, which can be addressed politically.
Europe and other US allies are adjusting to Trump’s “America first” approach. They are adjusting to Russia’s threats and invasion of Ukraine.
Science progresses. Covid solutions. Weight control. Driverless cars. Smart phone capabilities. Artificial intelligence. Robotics. Modern satellite communications. Medicines. Fracking. Nanotechnologies. Green power. Electric cars. Blockchain and cryptocurrencies.
The ongoing integration of race, class, region and immigrants in the US continues. It’s not perfect but a solid majority embraces the multicultural US. Young Americans only know this positive world.
Many critics agree with Mr. Douthat that the arts and culture have stagnated. I’m not sure that marks “the end of civilization”. Today I have quick access to everything that has been offered for 100 years. We are culturally blessed.
The author invests several pages in analyzing Francis Fukuyama’s 1992 “end of history” claim. He agrees that the Western liberal democracies have fended off the BIG challenges of fascism and communism but notes that new and old critics have returned. He gives Fukuyama a fair treatment and notes his more recent focus on the role of “identity” in shaping political views.
Unfortunately, Mr. Douthat is not interested in refining “liberal democracy” as a solution to our alleged stagnation. He is critical of managerialism, technocracy and modern meritocracy. He sees it as inherently self-interested and narrow. I think that we have no choice but to invest in improving our historical “liberal democracy” framework.
I think the gap between science and the humanities remains even wider than it was in 1959 when CP Snow called out his educated colleagues. We need a way to connect science and religion, politics and people. The “structural” advantages of strong political, social and economic systems are not inherently opposed to human values. We should invest in closing this gap in our universities.
My followers know that I have become a “true believer” in the potential of “civility” to become formally defined and promoted as a shared cultural norm to support our political, social and economic institutions.
I wholeheartedly agree with his two real religious solutions. The default paradigm today is “science versus religion” and “science alone is real”. There is significant scientific and philosophical evidence to overturn this current worldview.
Many of our current challenges exist because we have not revised our laws and political structures to adapt to modern wealth, amoral political actors and media capabilities.
We could choose to invest in economic and breakthrough scientific progress by making political choices.
We could choose to support the modern “therapeutic society” approach of encouraging every child to “live a great life today” in pursuit of their self-actualizing possibilities.
We could invest in improving the productivity of our lagging economic sectors: government, education, health care and not for profits.
We could revise our goals to emphasize quality as equal to quantity.
We could invest in promoting communities of all kinds, not just those local, total communities suggested by Patrick Deneen.
We could do a better job of outlining. defining and communicating to everyone our 5-part political spectrum of left, center-left, independent, center-right and right. Individuals rarely change. We are stuck with each other. How do we effectively structure our political, social and economic systems to accommodate these different views?
Douthat argues that we have stagnated on all dimensions. We need to find a way forward. I agree with 2 of his options and offer a few more possibilities.
The national Republican Party was radicalized or very extreme by 2012. It is MUCH worse today.
Barrels of ink have been spilled describing and analyzing the “Trump phenomenon”. We were collectively shocked in 2016 when he won the presidency. The changes toward extremism, radicalism and the loss of our democratic system have continued. Like the proverbial frogs, we have become accustomed to the onslaught of change. I’ll try to outline and make sense of the mind-boggling transformation of the “party of Lincoln” in my lifetime from Dwight Eisenhower, Dick Nixon, Nelson Rockefeller, Ronald Reagan and the Bushes to Newt Gingrich, Arthur Laffer, Grover Norquist, Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Charles and David Koch, Sheldon Adelson, Steve Wynn, Rupert Murdoch, Elon Musk and Donald Trump. 😦
Context
Pundits blamed the Trump 2016 election on a variety of false or half-true causes. Trump’s brand image and magnetic personality. His direct approach and truthfulness. A victory for the “Tea Party” after the slow Obama economic recovery. Renewed racism triggered by Obama in the White House. A normal left to right political swing. Hillary Clinton’s poor campaign and connecting skills. Clinton karma. The lure of the “authoritarian personality” in American culture.
I generally agree with the 2022 authors of American Psychosis. There have always been extreme groups attracted to and allied with the Republican Party. The party tolerated them, used them and then welcomed them. Their numbers and influence grew compared with that of the Main Street, Wall Street, moderate and New England wings of the party. They completed the hostile takeover of the party with Trump in 2016. [There have also been extreme groups affiliated with the Democratic Party].
I also agree with Edmund Fawcett’s long-term analysis. Conservatism was founded as a political perspective in opposition to ALL of the changes of modernity.
1500. New religion. New economics. Urbanization. Industrialization. Trade. Property rights. Individual rights. Skepticism. Science. Change. Loss of authority. Loss of history and tradition. Cultural challenges.
For most people, modernity was a very scary set of changes. For more than 1,000 years the rules of life were fixed. They were consistent in all dimensions. The religious, political, military, social and economic dimensions were aligned. Then changes occurred. A new paradigm called “liberalism” arose in opposition. Change is good. The individual is supreme and has rights. The dimensions of life can/must be separated. Certainty is gone. Social power is flexible. Competition and meritocracy are welcomed. Rationality and scientific proof are valued. Innovation and commercial success matter. “Anything goes”!
Conservatism emerged to provide a needed counterweight. History, tradition, community, values, virtues, nobility, safety, family, familiarity, neighbors, culture, language, experience, religion, race, stability, trust, and property.
Opposition to rapid change is a core conservative value. The emergence of a capitalist, commercial, scientific, university, secular class in competition with the landholding nobility and its religious and political allies was a founding perspective of conservatism. Today, we think of the Republican Party as the party of “big business”, capitalism, laissez faire, competition, social Darwinism, libertarianism and meritocracy. Yet, conservatism looks back to culture, community, religion, institutions, family, and morality. Economic and social conservatism are not fully or easily aligned.
The Republican Party has slowly, increasingly and then overwhelmingly become the party of social conservatism end economic populism. The trend was growing. Trump saw it and formalized it. The US experience is not unique. Other western countries have had the same recent experience. We have seen these tensions for two centuries or more.
A Slippery Slope
Many American conservatives have never truly embraced modernity, urbanization, industrialization, cosmopolitanism, equal rights, racial equality, trade, capitalism, global trade, international alliances, international treaties, religious denominations, ecumenicism, tolerance, immigration, etc. A secure life based upon familiar experience and community is great. The opportunities of progress are small, risky and filled with temptations and unintended consequences.
Successful politicians have two main talents. They deeply understand human nature, and they communicate very well. Conservative leaning politicians have mined the fear dimension of human nature for centuries. With the emergence of the mass media and modern advertising and persuasion tools circa 1920 they have become increasingly more powerful.
They set out to capitalize on the lack of deep political knowledge, skills and interests of the populace. The have moved down the slippery slope of skepticism, cynicism, fear, distrust and victimhood to hate.
They discovered that humans are naturally attracted to the Manichaean opposites of good and evil. They learned to define issues as yes and no, right and wrong, us versus them. Polarization is a very effective communications technique. Newt Gingrich demonstrated its value in 1992.
They learned to frame, highlight, emphasize and communicate effectively. Both parties’ leaders and supporters have always thought that they were morally right, and their opponents mistaken, misguided or much worse.
The Democrats have mainly been stuck in the 1800’s forward class wars occasioned by capitalism and the rise of manufacturing. Labor versus capital. Poor versus rich. Exploited versus exploiters. Rural farmers and laborers versus bankers and cities. Their issues and messaging matched.
Since 1960, the Democrats have adjusted to also become the party of “human rights” on a legal basis. Civil, women’s, disabled, LGBTQ, environmental, global, animal and earth rights on top of economic rights. The messaging has mostly remained the same, contrasting the exploited with the exploiters.
The Republican Party has offered a much more diverse, richer and expanded set of political messages. The messages are all about fear. The ideas, people and threats to fear have diversified and accelerated. THE IDEAS, PEOPLE AND THREATS TO FEAR HAVE DIVERSIFIED AND ACCELERATED. This very negatively biased view threatens our democracy.
Defense and Security
The Cold War. Reds under the bed. Pinko commies.
Korean War. “The loss of China”.
Vietnam War. The domino theory. All or nothing.
Hawks versus doves. Patriots.
Cuba.
Middle east “Arabs” versus Israel.
War on terror, Iraq, Afghanistan, Isis.
Axis of Evil.
Bomb, baby, bomb.
China.
Trump has added Venezuela, narcoterrorists, Canada, Mexico, Japan, South Korea, Greenland, Panama, Africa and Europe to those who cannot be trusted.
Eisenhower warned us about the “military-industrial complex”. It has managed to ensure that we are always at war with someone. Republicans have been the main hawks.
International Affairs
The US unilaterally defined the postwar rules at Bretton Woods, New Hampshire and joined the United Nations in San Francisco. The “America First” protectionists and unilateralists never really agreed. However, both parties supported the international system that cost-effectively protected American interests for more than 80 years.
Opposition to “foreign aid” was the first crack in the united front with politicians greatly exaggerating the amount of money invested and its ineffective usage. Foreign aid and health support levels fluctuated through time. Bush II was a proponent.
Historically, opposition to “free trade” was mostly a Democratic position. Alleged unfair power, rules, labor and environmental regulations. Republican global corporations were “all in”. Japanese, Asian, European and other third world competition offered higher quality and lower price goods to Americans who bought them in the 1970’s forward. Manufacturing job losses became a Republican issue as working-class Americans moved to the Republican Party from 1970-2020.
The US rejected the League of Nations. It tolerated the United Nations. The UN added a wide variety of international organizations. Republicans positioned the UN and these agencies as a waste of money supporting individuals, countries and organizations opposed to America. Trump defunded these organizations even as the World Health Organization played a key role in resolving the Covid pandemic.
The Paris Accords on climate change were another international agreement rejected by Trump, like the multilateral Iran nuclear proliferation limits.
NATO prospered for 70 years. Trump has questioned the rationale and his commitment to supporting our allies. He has badgered NATO and other allies to pay a greater amount for their defense. Trump renegotiated NAFTA with marginal changes. He has unilaterally applied tariffs to our neighbors and threatened to disband his own agreement.
Trump has threatened to invade Venezuela, Panama and Greenland because they allegedly threaten our security. He has removed many career foreign service staff members and politicized this vital national function.
The Economy
All politicians have criticized the opposition because inflation and unemployment are too high. Republicans claim that they are “the party of business” and more effective in managing the economy although the data says the opposite.
Republicans have claimed that Democrats wish to “socialize” the economy with the government owning and controlling all industries. No nationalization has occurred for more than a century. Deregulation of transportation in the 1970’s was a bipartisan initiative.
Republicans have exaggerated the size, scale, impact, employment and percentage of federal government activities for more than a century. Federal government activities DID increase very significantly during the Great Depression, WWII and the 1960’s Great Society initiatives. They have roughly remained at the same percentage of GDP since 1980.
Republicans have emphasized the “common sense” need to balance the federal budget and bemoaned the growing federal debt and its impact on future generations and “crowding out” of productive borrowing and investing. Their criticism rises when Democrats control the government and quiets when Republicans are in control as we have learned that 1-2-3% budget deficits seem to have no short or long-term deleterious effects. President Trump has no problem with running record budget deficits.
Republicans claimed that tax cuts would spur economic growth to offset the loss of revenue. The theoretical “Laffer Curve” has never been demonstrated to hold for the US. Republicans claimed that very high marginal income tax rates disincentivized highly productive Americans from working. Top marginal tax rates were cut from WWII 90% to 70% in 1965. Then lowered to 50% in 1981 and 37% or lower from 1986 forward. Grover Norquist and others after 1986 tried to “drown government in the bathtub” because “taxation is theft”. Bush I lost his reelection bid because of his “read my lips” reneged promise to not raise taxes.
Republicans claim that government regulations strangle businesses, cost money, reduce employment, stifle innovation, reduce R&D, and reduce investments. This is mostly a distraction. Regulations do require compliance costs for administration and reduced commercial activities. Corporations benefit from most drafted laws which provide opportunities for evasion and negotiation rather than strict compliance. If “clean” regulations were better they would ensure they were/are enacted.
Culture Wars / Wedge Issues
Civil rights legislation was supported by Democrats and Republicans. LBJ said “we may have lost the south for a generation”. He was right. The American South struggled with the aftermath of the Civil War, reconstruction and civil rights legislation. The belief that African-Americans should not mix with Whites died very slowly. New private schools were built to “solve the problem”. Court ordered busing to ensure equal racial opportunities in northern cities antagonized other Whites. Affirmative action court rulings divided the country, moving many Democrats to the Republican side.
Republicans made crime and drugs national issues. Directly and indirectly focusing on African-American communities.
Republicans made welfare a racial issue instead of a class, age or fairness issue.
The 1965 immigration act opened the door for poor immigrants from around the world.
President Reagan and congress agreed upon an amnesty and enforcement bill in 1986.
Bipartisan efforts to control migration were unsuccessful for the next 30 years. Trump pressured Congress to not approve a compromise bill in 2024. Trump has made immigration the center of his politics.
Education became a national political issue after the passage of the civil rights bills. Republicans advocated for “states’ rights” and the elimination of the federal “Department of Education”. The enforcement of equal racial access to public education drove these changes. The establishment of private Christian schools and the use of vouchers to fund them became a political issue.
Institutions
Historically, Republicans controlled all of the major institutions of the US. After “Brown vs. Board of Education”, they decided that institutions were not always perfect. The move of southerners from the “solid South” of Democrats to the Republican Party was a huge swing. Federal courts might not be trusted. Federal DOE might not be trusted.
The federal government was generally viewed as a positive entity based upon its activities during the Great Depression and WWII. Post-war investments in infrastructure were welcomed. The growth of federal employment, funding and power led to opposition by Republicans, claiming waste and inefficiency. Opposition to all federal staff and functions grew during the 1970’s and 1980’s.
Reagan framed it as “I think you all know that I’ve always felt the nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the Government, and I’m here to help.” In 1996, President Clinton said “the era of big government is over”.
Support for American institutions began to decline after Nixon’s presidency. His acts showed that it was possible that previously trusted institutions were no longer definitely trustworthy.
Republicans positioned “government versus business”. Business was trustworthy, subject to the iron laws of the market. Government was subject to the incentives of politicians and bureaucrats.
Entrepreneurs were positioned as wealth and job-creators. They were crafted as makers versus takers. Obama’s claim in 2012 for an equal role for the public sector sparked much political debate.
Republicans applied this negative theory to everyone. Bureaucrats were subject to the incentives of lobbying, influence, bribery and career advancement. Inherently untrustworthy. Regulators were subject to regulatory capture. Teachers were self-absorbed and union captured. Same with police and fire fighters.
Spiro Agnew began the attack on the broader cultural elites as the “nattering nabobs of negativism”. The attack on the supposed cultural elites in the university, arts, media, communications and not for profit space has continued.
Trump and his acolytes have used DEI as a wedge to force organizations to comply with his political wishes.
Republicans use the term “elites” to drive fear. Political officials, bureaucrats, professors, journalists, commentators, executives, bankers, media influencers, actors, musicians, lawyers, doctors, scientists, and public health officials. Where does this end? What about the Republican elites?
Trump has undercut any faith in institutions. DOJ and FBI politicized. All federal agencies politicized.
We no longer rely upon trust or principles. Everything is based on power and transactions. The conservative economic view seems to Trump the conservative social view in the end.
Individuals
Republicans have positioned the political world to help voters see themselves as victims or potential victims of the opposition. The evil opposition is ready to take away your: guns, religion, parental rights, language, teams, history, culture, music, voting power, flag, patriotism, money, house, medical care and rights. They have demonized the opposition as “radical leftists”. Democrats have responded with the same level of name calling. Republican leaders have chased the RINOS (Republicans in Name Only) out of the party.
Summary
Republicans have increasingly chosen fear to build and maintain their political support for 70 years. It appeals to the lowest common denominator of those motivated by fear alone. It is unsustainable. We will either have a major breakdown of our society/culture or a rejection of this negative worldview very soon.
Civility is a set of behaviors based upon a set of values. It is adopted and grown by individuals based upon their conscious and unconscious experiences. The practice of Civility tends to promote Civility in others. Unchecked incivility tends to destroy Civility. The practice of Civility depends upon a communications, interaction and problem-solving process. The social commitment to Civility depends upon the rate and intensity of practice and the frequency and impact of responses to incivility. Civility is a social value that is partly conscious and partly unconscious.
Chaos Theory
OK!!! Once we start to investigate dynamic systems, the words and concepts get abstract and “questionable” pretty quickly. Complex systems are unstable. Small changes can cause large impacts. I share this because I think that Civility is a social system subject to this kind of dynamic, nonlinear change.
Emergent Systems
OK!!! Civility is an emergent property of people interacting. Simple, positive interactions promote more positive interactions. AI is trying to describe the idea of virtuous cycles and vicious cycles on a knife’s edge. Civility is a fragile concept and practice.
Managing Incivility
We have mixed advice. Some uncivil behaviors are so toxic they must be opposed. Yet, limiting free speech is against the core beliefs of Civility.
Civility, like other cultural norms, does not disappear quickly, it persists.
Tipping Point
Civility is positioned to survive. There are many individuals and groups with the incentive and capability to defend and promote Civility.
Summary
Overall, I am optimistic about the survival and progress of Civility today, December 15, 2025.
POST SCRIPT
In the process of using Google AI today, I am now EXTREMELY CONCERNED THAT THE SINGULARITY IS ABOUT TO OCCUR SOON. The responses to my complex questions are at least an order of magnitude more insightful than they were just a few days ago!
Civility is a set of behaviors that recognizes differences and builds mutual respect: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship management, communications, growth and problem solving.
It is based on 7 nonpartisan values: human dignity, respect, acceptance, responsibility, intentionality, constructiveness and public-spiritedness.
Civility is required for a representative democracy to thrive. Citizens must practice and embrace these habitual behaviors. Social norms must press individuals to adopt these beliefs and improve their behaviors, despite the call of opposing forces.
Civility has declined in the United States of America since the 1960’s cultural revolution and the 1980’s Reagan revolution. Individualism has ascended [perhaps too far]. Religion and culture have lost influence. Many today are working to rekindle Civility as a core set of values and behaviors necessary for a society of free individuals to succeed.
In broad terms, I have identified 6 threats to our society. I’d like to outline how Civility can be used to address these challenges. Civility alone cannot save our society, but it has the ability to prevent us from spiraling down in a vicious cycle. Civility has the ability to trigger a virtuous cycle. It is a catalyzing and leveraging force.
Radical individualism dispenses with community, society, religion, morality and philosophy. ONLY the individual now matters. Many of us have unintentionally adopted this faulty worldview: in whole or in part.
Civility begins with the claim that every person possesses INFINITE human dignity.
This is an individualistic start. But it is paired with the logical complements of respect and acceptance. If I have infinite human dignity, then all others must also have infinite human dignity. They MUST be respected. They MUST be accepted. They are not perfect, faultless, better or good. But they have the same potential for good and excellence that I enjoy.
This insight requires me to try to be self-aware, to manage myself, to be aware of others and to responsibly and intentionally manage my relationships with others. “I’m OK, You’re OK”.
Civility calls on us to be positive and constructive, not as a weak Pollyanna view but as individuals who are hopeful, who seek to find the greatest possible results.
Civility embraces public-spiritedness. It acknowledges that we live in community at all times and are responsible to consider our community obligations. We are not called to blindly accept community views, norms or decisions. But we always consider our civic and community duties and responsibilities.
Humans are never satisfied with what they have. We compare themselves to others and come up short. Our logical reasoning is imperfect. We focus on losses, the short-term, concrete items and anchors.
Civility accepts our weaknesses. It encourages us to look outwards to our neighbors to really evaluate ourselves. It promotes the “rough and tumble” of interpersonal engagement in informal and formal life. Civility guides us to be self-aware and self-managing. Civility recognizes that personal growth is an ongoing process. We cannot simply digest best practices intellectually; we must experience them.
Skepticism
Healthy scientific skepticism is fine. Unfortunately, we have often come to reject everyone and every fixed idea. Political polarization has undermined any sense of the “common good” or objective reality.
Civility embraces positivity and constructiveness. We should always pursue and consider positive opportunities.
Responsibility and intentionality require us to step above the situation and assess it objectively. We cannot take the shortcut of simplistic naive kneejerk skepticism.
Civility embraces modern behavioral and cognitive science. It uses rational modern decision-making tools. We have much stronger insights into true human nature. It is imperfect but we are better positioned to purposely lead great lives.
Despite the intellectual attraction of skepticism, America has prospered economically for 250 years. It has demonstrated that a democratic republic can succeed. The US has overcome two world wars, the Great Depression, the Vietnam War, the cultural revolution of the 1960’s, the Cold War, the Great Recession, the Covid pandemic and populism.
Religion has not died. Utilitarianism is barely remembered. Atheism is mostly rejected. Simplistic philosophies are inadequate. Scientific progress marches forward. Pure scientific rationalism loses support as a philosophy of life. Nietzsche and existentialism forced men to face the prospect of meaninglessness and we have survived. Self-awareness and social awareness help us to understand the complexity, contradictions, inconsistencies and mysteries of real life.
Imperfect Myths
Modern worldviews generally fail to replace the peace and answers of the ideals of Christendom. Civility offers a set of values and behaviors that support the practical operation of modern life with its greatly enhanced diversity.
Civility supports the 4 deep challenges of: facing death, finding a purpose beyond self, being affirmed and living as a social being in community. The commitment to human dignity, respect and acceptance help with the need to be affirmed. I’m OK, You’re OK. Civility promotes the social, interactive, growing, dynamic person. It offers a safe environment where individuals can pursue religious perspectives. It emphasizes the role that the “other” can play in personal growth.
Civility does NOT replace any of the religious, historical, cultural and national myths that have addressed human needs in the past. Civility is a set of values and behaviors that allows for constructive interactions in all areas and levels of society despite our differences. It does not choose sides in religious, political and philosophical debates. It is a necessary, but insufficient basis for modern life.
Our Secular Age
Civility accepts that we cannot easily find final deterministic solutions to the great questions of life. We have experienced 600 years of modernity without finding rational, objective, scientific, secular answers. Civility provides a social platform that supports religious belief. It supports debate on difficult subjects. It focuses on how we can live together, accept and overcome our real differences.
Our Secular Age is one in which the biggest questions – about God, man and meaning – don’t have consensus answers. No single denomination or ecumenical group holds a dominant worldview. Atheists, agnostics and “none of the above’s” are a large and fast-growing group, especially among younger age cohorts.
The loss of certainty creates existential angst for citizens. Civility responds with “human dignity” as a core belief that elevates individuals and the human condition to something of importance, a matter of ultimate concern for all. Civility offers “acceptance” as a central value, acknowledging that different backgrounds, experiences and beliefs are to be expected and welcomed. Civility encourages a positive, constructive approach to our lack of consensus on political, religious and philosophical topics. Civility promotes the virtues of responsibility, respect and initiative as tools for the required interactions with others – on topics large and small.
Finally, Civility focuses on behaviors, habits and norms of practical interaction as being most effective in living actual lives in a Secular Age. The Protestant Reformation triggered centuries of religious conflict. The principles of Civility were used to heal this divide and can apply to our differences today.
Insecurity
Modern man is surrounded by uncertainty as he is forced to make more decisions in more areas with more choices than ever before. Most of us try to ignore the surrounding forces and live our lives day to day as best as we can. We implicitly adopt some kind of philosophy of life. We stay busy. We pursue goals. We consider the changes in our worlds. But the underlying tensions make life difficult. Economic and personal striving are a cultural norm. Polarized politics is hard to avoid. It’s difficult to relax, center and fully engage in life. We treasure peace and certainty. We’re still looking for answers that work well in a world filled with options and choices.
Civility’s focus on human dignity, respect and acceptance of each person and others serves to build a strong sense of self-worth. The self-awareness and self-management skills reinforce this central validation of each person.
The values of responsibility, intentionality and constructiveness reinforce the solid self with positive real-world experience and reinforcement. The social awareness, communications and relationship management skills operationalize this good intent.
Collectively, the Civility values and behaviors provide personal assets to be successful in a challenging world. They address the need for frequent interactions with “others”. They provide confidence that individuals have the capabilities and experience to thrive in difficult situations because they have managed them before.
Summary
Civilization and daily life are guided by unspoken norms and beliefs. We have experienced significant changes in the past century that undermined the consensus view and now requires individuals to consciously consider a greater share of their daily lives. We have not reached a new consensus and may not do so anytime soon. As we work through these differences we need to reinvest in Civility skills, habits and understanding. Civility helps us individually, in groups and as a society to interact effectively despite our differences. We don’t need perfection or infinite improvement, but we need to invest in Civility and use its power as a self-reinforcing system or virtuous cycle to guide us into the future.
Civility is a set of behaviors that recognizes differences and builds mutual respect.
Self-awareness
Self-management
Social awareness
Relationship management
Communications
Growth
Problem-solving
Self-Awareness
Emotional Awareness – Identifying and understanding our emotions and their impact on our thoughts, behaviors, and others. Accurate Self-assessment – Clearly understanding personal strengths and limitations without self-criticism or inflated self-perception. Self-confidence – Firmly believing in one’s abilities, talents, and judgement. Self-respect – Properly regarding and caring for the dignity of one’s person and character. Authenticity – Acting in accordance with one’s true self, values and beliefs.
Self-Management
Emotional Self-control – Managing and regulating one’s emotional responses, preventing impulsive reactions. Adaptability – Flexibly and efficiently learning and applying that knowledge across situations. Achievement Motivation – Orientation towards success, mastery, and sense of purpose. Initiative – Recognizing needs, taking action, and pursuing outcomes without waiting for direction. Optimism – A mental attitude characterized by a positive outlook and expectations of favorable outcomes. Apologizing – Acknowledging errors and guilt, expressing regret, repenting, asking for forgiveness. Trustworthiness – Demonstrating credibility, reliability and intimacy buffered from self-interest. Resilience – Bouncing back from adversity with flexibility & strength, maintaining wellbeing despite challenges.
Social Awareness
Empathy – Understanding what other people feel, seeing their point of view, and imagining yourself in their place.
Organizational Awareness – Interpreting a group’s emotional state, relationship dynamics and power structures.
Service Orientation – Willingly anticipating, recognizing, and meeting others’ needs, before they are articulated.
Perspective Taking – Considering others’ thoughts, feelings, intentions, and motivations in a particular situation.
Cultural Awareness – Recognizing the different beliefs, values, and customs of someone based on their origins.
Relationship Management
Influence – Capacity to affect the character, development, or behavior of another person, group, or organization.
Conflict Management – Process by which disputes are resolved, negative results are minimized and positive results are prioritized.
Teamwork and Collaboration – Combined effort of a group of people working together towards a common goal or objective.
Inspirational Leadership – Inspiring and guiding people to get the job done, to bring out their best.
Change Management – Providing approaches, tools, and techniques to achieve a desired future state.
Collaboration Tools – Offering any technology or tool that can be used to help people to better work together.
Meeting Management – Organizing and facilitating meetings to ensure productivity and alignment.
Project Management – Planning, organizing, and executing tasks to create a tangible product, service, or deliverable.
Communications
Commonality – Finding and emphasizing common interests, perspectives and experiences.
Be Patient – Encouraging others to speak, not interrupting them.
Overall Awareness – Paying attention to non-verbal cues, overall message of speakers.
Recognize/Validate Others – Listening, remembering and using names, acknowledging others’ views and emotions.
Mirror Communications – Confirming listening by restating what you heard in your own words.
Speak Kindly – Using words that are neutral or supportive, not attacking others.
Understand – Asking questions, clarifying, seeking first to understand, not to reply.
Manage Praise – Giving and receiving praise for communications, actions, intentions and results, when appropriate.
Defend Properly – Defining boundaries, expressing views in “I” statements, not overreaching.
Solve the Problem – Focusing on issues, not people.
Electronic Communications – Effective email and social media communications.
Growth
Experiential Learning – Benefiting from the experience and natural results of participating in civil processes. Continuous Improvement – Maintaining newly developed skills and skill levels with support from civil colleagues. Embracing Feedback – Encouraging honest feedback provides opportunities for personal growth. New Perspectives – Gaining new approaches, viewpoints and paradigms from interacting with others. Higher Expectations – Improving goals and behaviors in response to the expectations/norms of others. Confidence – Using civil processes to address and resolve difficult situations builds personal and process confidence. Broadly Applying Skills – Trying, testing and using civility skills in all domains of life. Modelling Behaviors – Practicing civility skills helps to teach, influence and inspire others. Developing Others – Recognizing and nurturing potential in others through encouragement and honest feedback.
Problem-Solving
Analytical Tools – Critical thinking, decision making, game theory, finance, economics and operations management.
Creative Thinking – Thinking about a task or a problem in a new or different way, or generate new ideas.
Strategic Thinking – Intentionally and logically making organization level decisions with long-term impacts.
Organizational Design – Improving an organization’s effectiveness and performance.
Organizational Development – Structuring an organization to align with its strategic goals and objectives.
Systems Thinking – Cognitive skill and a way of understanding reality that emphasizes the whole rather than the sum of its parts.
Process Engineering – Approach to designing, analyzing, and optimizing steps to produce a consistent, repeatable outcome.
Public Administration – Coordination of government activities to ensure the effective delivery of services and the application of laws.
Summary
We have lost our commitment to civility in our interactions with each other in the last 50 years. On the other hand, we understand exactly how and why we should act civilly. We can learn about acting civilly within all of our institutions, setting aside our political differences. The behavioral sciences have clearly described the practice of civility. We now have the ability to learn and sharpen our civility skills. We must implement this training for our children and our fellow citizens.
I wrote many posts during the Biden administration to counteract the recurring false claims about “runaway inflation”. Biden was certainly guilty of spending too much taxpayers’ money for economic recovery, infrastructure, green projects and student loan forgiveness. This aggravated the inflation rate, made it slower to fall and established expectations of higher long-term inflation. However, the primary drivers of inflation were the pandemic driven demand for physical goods after factories closed, loose monetary policy and bipartisan government spending to offset the pandemic. We all enjoyed 20 years of price stability before this. A little bumpiness after a pandemic driven global shutdown was not surprising.
The climbing inflation rate broke in June, 2022 more than 3 years ago. It has not slowed under Trump’s stewardship.
The inflation rate has been in the 3% +/- range for the last 2 years. That means that prices, on average, continue to increase each year. 2% inflation was the normal rate for the prior 20 years. It (3%) seems to be a rate that is “non-accelerating”. Economic agents, including consumers, are able to ignore 2% inflation. It is immaterial, too small to really notice. 3% inflation is on the border of being “concerning”. Inflation can more easily accelerate from 3% to a concerning 5% or higher. President Trump can claim that he has maintained the Biden inflation reduction from 9% to 3% but he cannot claim that he has reduced prices, reduced inflation or made the cost of living more affordable.
The core inflation rate, excluding the more volatile food and energy prices, has shown the same pattern. It peaked at 6.5% and declined to “about 3%” by June, 2024. It has moved down by one-quarter percent since then. Unfortunately, it seems to be flat. Trump has not moved it down.
President Trump has pursued 2 of these 12 areas but worked in the opposite way to increase inflation on most. He has pressured drug prices down. He has encouraged increased supply of traditional fossil fuels energy.
Fiscal Policy
Federal budget deficit remains at an unsustainable $1.7T per year. Too much demand, not enough supply.
Monetary Policy
President Trump has been harassing Fed Chair Jerome Powell (who he appointed) to cut interest rates. The real, inflation adjusted, interest rate is currently 1%. Monetary policy is neutral or a little tight. President Trump encourages looser monetary policy which increases inflation. Not an inflation fighter.
US Dollar
The US dollar has declined in value since Trump took office, making foreign purchases more expensive.
Housing Costs
Housing prices peaked in 2022, drifted down by 5% in 2022 and have remained flat for the last two and a half years. Trump policies have no impact here.
Health Care
3% medical inflation continues despite efforts to reduce drug prices.
Food prices are more volatile than most. Inflation reached 11% in 2022. It approached 2% in 2024 but has since increased to 3% annually.
Energy
Energy prices jumped in the first 2 years of recovery from the pandemic. They have been flat since then. Trump has cancelled $8B worth of previously authorized energy projects.
Gas prices averaged $2.50/gallon before the pandemic, spiked up to $4.50/gallon during the recovery and settled back to $3.00/gallon for the last 3 years.
Tariffs
US consumers enjoyed immaterial average import tariff rates for the last 50 years. Trump has levied an 18% tax on imports, increasing costs for American consumers of the 14% of their consumption that is imported. The inflationary impact of the Trump tariffs has not yet been passed along to consumers. The frequent changes in tariff rates have led businesses to absorb costs in the short run. This will not continue.
This recent tax change benefits individuals with enough income to pay federal income taxes, so improves affordability for an estimated 4 million people.
This provision of OBBA benefits low to moderate income households aged 65 and older. Many experts criticize its structure, but it clearly makes life more affordable for those who benefit from the change.
Higher Limit for State and Local Tax (SALT) Deductions
Higher income taxpayers who itemize deductions received a significant federal tax reduction. This change does not benefit most low to moderate income households.
Increased Cost and Reduced Availability of Child Care
The OBBBA increased tax credits to partially offset childcare costs. Critics considered these changes to be inadequate, noting that a “pro-family” political party should do better.
Greatly reduced net immigration will tighten the labor supply in some industries, leading to higher compensation for some workers and higher prices for consumers. Economists have not reached a consensus on the net impact to the typical American.
Inflation continues at 3% annually. Real wages are keeping up with inflation. The memory of large price increases in 2022 that were never reversed seems to have reset inflation expectations from 1-2% to 3-4% per year. Some tax law changes in the One Big Beautiful Bill meaningfully cut taxes. Fiscal policy remains very loose and drives inflation. Monetary policy is considered neutral by most economists, but Trump is trying to loosen it, which risks further inflation. Trump’s “on/off” tariff negotiations have not yet driven large consumer price increases but have slowed business investments. Trump’s claims to have improved “affordability” rest on his specific actions that point in that direction, not on the economy wide statistics or large-scale policies that might significantly improve affordability for the “average” family.
Cultures exist because individuals need to be combined into communities. Without cultural norms, expectations, education, rewards, penalties and taboos there wouldn’t be any culture, community or civilization. Modern “civility” is a set of values, skills and behaviors required to hold together a diverse, multicultural society like the United States. With the growing breakdown of historic western Christian culture, the US needs to actively embrace the values subset of “civility” in order to make our political, social and economic worlds function effectively. This requires society – and its leaders and influencers – to clearly define select important aspirational values AND to define what is TABOO, poison, shunned, beyond the pale, unacceptable, and rejected by all. We focus on the 8 civility values.
MODERN TABOOS FOR EVERYONE
Angry outbursts and yelling.
Attacking ideas, opinions and proposals without reason.
Raising personal opinions, values or interests above professional responsibility.
Ignoring uncivil actions.
Allowing high value-added performers to ignore civility standards.
Ignoring or neglecting others; individuals or local groups.
Addressing individuals with disrespect.
Treating individuals as a means, a class member, rather than a human being, an infinitely valuable end [Immanuel Kant].
Gaslighting.
Ignoring questions of race, nationality, gender, sexuality, disabilities or mental health.
Arbitrarily rejecting personal choices about personal fashion, modesty or body image.
Arbitrarily rejecting proposed reparations for historical group damages.
Failing to recognize that policies that benefit minorities might unfairly harm majorities.
Embracing victimhood.
Abdicating responsibility for making personal choices.
Failing to use logic to make choices; following will, desire or emotion alone.
Failing to define and pursue personal goals.
Failing to consider the consequences of one’s personal actions.
Allowing others to strictly determine one’s choices (family, groups, ideologies, professionals, experts, science, leaders, political parties, public opinion).
Blaming others, making excuses, hiding mistakes.
Avoiding personal responsibility by distracting others.
Lying, being dishonest.
Betraying a group that you should be loyal to.
Supporting an individual or group whose legitimacy you question.
Strictly promoting personal self-interest above the needs of the community.
Ignoring civic participation duties.
Failing to trust others and groups after they have trusted you.
Ignoring community interests.
Allowing others to transgress shared community norms.
Ignoring others on a day to day basis.
Not listening; interrupting, undermining.
Failing to participate in group activities.
Ignoring, discounting or undermining others’ attempts to contribute to group decision making.
Dominating conversations, especially after being placed on notice.
Constant negativity, challenges and skepticism.
Summary
Taboos are a critical dimension of a deeply held moral framework. Civility is based upon society agreeing that some values and their implications are “rock solid”. A few of the taboos above are mainly embraced by the left, but ALL 45 (!!!!!!) are embraced by a supermajority of citizens.
The “liberal” virtue of tolerance can be interpreted as THE value, an allegedly supreme value more important than all/any others. It must not be elevated to this dominant role. Tolerance is important but it is not controlling.
Hence, the underlying civility values of human dignity, respect, acceptance, responsibility, public spiritedness, intentionality, interaction and positivity combine to form a successful common framework for all.
Taboos provide the negative (unacceptable) side of values. Civil people, irrespective of their political opinions, must reject these beliefs, opinions, actions and communications. TRUTH is the ultimate standard. We must all reject beliefs that conflict with the truth.
Avoiding/rejecting these taboos is not easy. We humans are still imperfect. We have to work and work and work to reach for the positive dimensions of the proposed subset of civility virtues, and avoid the taboos.
It’s difficult to describe the complete revolution in the behavioral sciences that occurred around 1956 as practitioners began to experience a “paradigm shift” 6 years before Thomas Kuhn’s wildly influential “philosophy of science” description of this phenomenon.
Psychology was dominated by the behaviorist approach of BF Skinner. Only observable scientific results mattered. In second place were Freud’s insights into the differences between the conscious mind and the unconscious struggles between the id, ego and superego. Psychologists, social psychologists, communications theorists, philosophers, linguists, and computer scientists rejected BOTH the philosophy-free behaviorist approach and the philosophy-entangled Freudian approaches. The “cognitive scientists” recognized that the mind, mental, consciousness, rationality, perception, memory, attention, will, drives, social influences, choice, morality, feelings, fears, instincts and many other constructs were “real” in some sense. Non-material concepts and structures were important complements to the material and observable world.
They embraced the scientific method to investigate these concepts. They began to combine experimental psychology, information theory and biology. Their work led to many breakthroughs in theory and in practical advice for how humans behave, where they fail/struggle and what they can do to improve. These scientifically based theories have accumulated to the great benefit of mankind in the last 70 years.
I want to highlight the key cognitive science / behavioral science breakthroughs that are relevant to practicing civility. I will limit references to a single work for each category.
This above list only scratches the surface. Consider corporate organizational development, counseling, cognitive behavioral theory, college residential life, community development, neutral DEI programs, listening, peer counseling, couples counseling, co-dependency, adult children of alcoholics, anxiety, negotiating, facilitation skills, strategic planning, game theory, risk management, project management, influence, thinking hats, personality styles, talents, etc. The list is almost endless.
We now understand how humans behave. We are imperfect and amazing. We have the ability to balance the individual and the other, the individual and the community, the individual and spirit/God.
Civility is based upon the human dignity of each individual. The modern “cognitive science” approach embraces this insight. It offers tools to make our lives more effective, meaningful and satisfying. Civil individuals should invest time to master these subjects.
Political polarization, impact of media changes, declining trust in people and institutions, lower community and civic participation and a president who promotes a purely transactional world that ignores Civility. People are worried about democracy, progress, relations and the future. They sense that the decline in Civility is one of the problems and that restoring Civility might be an answer.
What’s New?
While journalists focus on politics and the media, others are focusing squarely on day-to-day Civility in our interactions with each other. People are frustrated with political and institutional leaders’ seeming inability to guide us to a better world. Like the little girl in “the Tale of the Starfish” they refuse to accept a declining world and commit to taking small, personal actions in the face of great challenges, exclaiming “Well, I made a difference for that one”!
These individuals and groups are focusing on improving personal Civility in all walks of life, leaving politics and the media for later action. They believe that improved behavior alone has the potential to “move the needle”. So, they are improving their own Civil behavior, promoting, teaching, sharing and encouraging others. They are organizing and holding meetings to find partners. They are developing curriculum to share the core values of Civility that can be embraced without diving into politics or religion. They are highlighting the many existing tools for better communications, interpersonal relations, problem solving and personal growth available to those who wish to be more effective in using and modeling Civility. They are using the interactions of thinking, feeling and doing to create better enduring habits.
Where’s the Rub?
Civility has been caught up in the political and religious wars. It is often misunderstood as just politeness, overpromising an end to disagreements, soft, emotional, utopian, relabeled liberalism, a new righteousness or an apology for the status quo and vested interests. The new Civility proponents have much work to do in order to clearly communicate its core content AND what it is not.
The power of Civility lies in its networking effects. Individuals who develop Civility skills in parenting can use them at work. People who build Civility skills to be better political advocates can use them in their volunteer roles. Individuals who demonstrate Civility in any arena influence others, even if they don’t notice. People tend to mirror the behavior that they experience. Other individuals behave better, and a virtuous cycle continues. Our problem for the last 20-50 years is that we have been in a vicious cycle of less and less Civil behavior becoming more and more accepted.
What’s In It for Me? (WIIFM)
We live in an age of radical individualism. We naturally first evaluate ideas and options from only our personal perspective. Civility provides many personal benefits. It provides even more important community benefits. Because it is about public behavior that influences others it is often about both the individual and others or the individual and the community. Civility depends on the values of human dignity, respect, acceptance, responsibility, intentionality, interactions, constructiveness and public spirit. Hence, it claims many positive results for the individual and the community.
Practicing Civility will improve your health, effectiveness, sense of belonging, personal growth and leadership skills.
1. Conflict Reduction
Civility is founded on human dignity, respect and empathy. Differences are expected. Individuals seek to understand others. They focus on people, process, interactions and results, not just winning. They employ tools to find acceptable solutions. They refuse to personalize differences. This approach reduces the chance of differences or disagreements escalating to become conflicts or crises. The habit of resolving or accepting differences creates an atmosphere that expects reasonable interactions and results.
2. Stress Reduction
Civility reduces the frequency and intensity of conflict. It minimizes the direct and indirect experience of personal attacks. Individuals are affirmed by each other, feeling respect and developing a stronger self-image. Others have higher morale, so they are less likely to fall “below the line” in their behaviors. Social norms guide positive behavior. Individuals expect that people, process and results will be good, or at least acceptable. They learn to depersonalize interactions, reframe conversations to avoid righteous religious or political issues and build upon their positive experiences.
Positive experiences and expectations reduce stress, tension, fear, anger and anxiety. They encourage engagement and issue resolution. They reduce the risk of burnout.
3. Happiness
People in civil environments experience respect, acceptance, belonging, positivity, trust and good relationships. Civility leads to high achievement by developing communications, problem solving, relationship and influence skills. By applying the values of responsibility and intentionality, individuals improve their decision-making skills, especially those that require interaction, creativity and wisdom to manage complexity, uncertainty and differences. These experiences help people to become centered and composed.
The process emphasis of Civility supports personal growth. Individuals define goals, separate means and ends, welcome feedback, bridge differences and expect to change when they learn. Personal growth can cause anxiety at first, but extended experience provides a way to embrace change and expect positive personal and process results. Finally, Civility requires individuals to make choices about upholding values like human dignity, respect, responsibility, leadership and the public good. Individuals who define and strive to consistently live by moral values build justifiable self-assurance (#10).
4. Good Reputation
When you demonstrate communications, problem solving, interpersonal, personal and change management skills, others notice. When you apply the virtues of respect and acceptance, responsibility and intentionality, positivity and interaction, others notice. They notice your personal, work and civic realms. Your personal brand value grows. They trust, respect and like you. They expect you to work well with others and to keep your commitments. They provide professional and leadership opportunities because you are effective in the modern complex, team environment.
5. Influence
Those who practice respect, acceptance and interactive problem-solving prime others to consider their views. Self-confident, centered, composed, responsible, intentional people are seen as natural leaders. Individuals who have solid interpersonal and communications skills, especially active listening, encourage others to work with them. The experience of mutual respect and creative problem resolution in difficult situations leads others to prefer to work with their highly Civil colleagues.
6. Better Relationships
Civility makes building relationships a top priority. People, process and results. Civil people demonstrate empathy and self-regulation. They have good communications and interpersonal skills. They value respect and acceptance, responsibility and intentionality, positivity and interactions. Experiencing the give and take of shared decision-making or problem-solving benefits all parties.
7. Belonging
The Civility values of interaction/dialogue, mutual respect and public spiritedness combine to create and enhance communities. They create shared purposes, meanings, interests, history and the experience of managing difficult decisions. Belonging improves with this stronger sense of community.
The Civility values of human dignity, respect and acceptance together with empathetic behavior contribute to forming and sustaining a kind, compassionate community. Individuals are affirmed, feel safe and belong.
When Civility is actively thriving, the overall environment is Civil or harmonious. Morale, well-being and relationships improve. Belonging flourishes.
8. Included
The same forces that create belonging, apply to inclusion. True belonging, based on acceptance and human dignity, is for everyone, despite whatever differences they may have. A “big tent” welcomes all. The underlying values also make individuals feel respected, valued and affirmed even when they are different or hold different views.
Interacting with mutual respect using modern behavioral science tools leads to understanding differences of interests, perspectives, goals, beliefs, preferences and values. Understanding helps to avoid conflicts. It allows us to disagree without being disagreeable. It encourages us to find creative, compromise solutions. It helps us to identity where we do have shared views. By truly accepting differences we include others.
9. Emotionally Composed
Civil people expect to encounter and manage differences. They willingly engage in group decision-making and problem-solving processes. They respect and empathize with others. They depersonalize crucial conversations. They identify common interests. They learn that they can discuss, trade, negotiate, advocate and influence civilly even when the stakes are high. They learn to accept and embrace compromise and avoid polarizing arguments about political and religious topics.
Civil people are supported by a civil environment of belonging and inclusion where others are mostly stable too. They practice the values of responsibility and intentionality. They know that they must make choices. They learn that some differences cannot be resolved and that they have personal growth opportunities. There is a virtuous cycle of self-control, with the experience of building greater confidence and reserves.
10. Satisfied
Anyone who has achieved 3 Happiness, built a 4 Good Reputation, become 5 Influential, created 6 Better Relationships and become 9 Emotionally Composed should be satisfied with life. If they are also succeeding in life and career based on developing and applying the key behavioral skills, they are further blessed. If they have been able to consistently follow their values, including public-spiritedness, they should be proud. If they have participated in group problem-solving and decision-making to shape their communities at any level, they know they have achieved something important.
11. Overcoming Selfishness
Three of the five key Civility behaviors apply: empathizing with others, building relationships and self-regulation. The individual is required to interact with others, so he or she might as well be good at it. Self-knowledge is required for interacting effectively with others. Radical selfishness is simply not an option.
Personal management and interpersonal skills help people to insightfully look inward and outward to balance both worlds.
Six of the Civility values apply: recognizing the human dignity of others, respecting others, accepting others, interacting with others, being constructive in spite of others and considering the common good with others.
Civility does not elevate “others” or communities above the individual, but it recognizes them as valid agents in life’s drama. They are worthy of serious, intentional, responsible consideration. Civil individuals happily move beyond a state of self-absorption to engage with life’s full possibilities.
12. Leveraging Human Dignity
Civility begins with the insight that we each share a common human dignity. We each have equal worth. This is an essential view of reality and human potential. It cannot be disputed. The Civility values, behaviors and skills are derived from this base.
It means that we each have an infinite worth and value. We have humanity in common and the “common good”, relationships and community truly matter. The views and interests of others matter and must be considered. Individuals have inalienable rights of protection from others, groups, governments and society. Minority interests should be considered and protected. Individuals must be treated as “ends”, never just as means to ends per Immanuel Kant. Groups and ideologies must never be more important than actual people. Civility processes protect these individual rights while respecting the need for groups, communities, governments and societies to make imperfect decisions for the common good.
13. Mutual Trust
When individuals practice the Civility values, they are signaling that they trust others. Displaying respect and acceptance indicates trust in another person. Investing in intentional, responsible, interactive and constructive actions says that an individual believes that the others are worthy of investment and implicitly trustworthy. Considering the common good or public interest also shows a belief that others should generally be trusted.
Trust is often given altruistically, at least at first. Modern game theory says this is the optimal first step in typical two player games. It is also offered with an expectation that it will be reciprocated. Trusters hope and expect that they will be trusted back.
Trusters also believe that they will indirectly benefit from nudging others into creating more effective teams, groups and communities. These groups are more effective due to collaboration and deliver better results. They reduce the costs and risks of making decisions. They create a positive environment of lower stress and conflict.
14. Mutually Constructive Behavior
Civility embraces positivity and a constructive approach to conflict management, negotiations, problem-solving, decision-making and politics. This value is supported ethically, tactically and strategically; NOT naively.
Responsibility and intentionality are adopted with the expectation that they will be at least partially reciprocated by others. Using a constructive approach to interactions helps to influence others to mirror this good behavior and engage positively.
Civility values an interactive and mutually respectful approach to the broad topic of problem-solving. Faith in interaction is based on the values of human dignity and respect. It is helped by empathetic behaviors. It is greatly facilitated by positive and constructive attitudes, thoughts and actions. This another area where a value (constructiveness) is first offered altruistically with the hope and expectation that it will be partially reciprocated.
Civiliteers hope that civil discourse will arise and become the norm. They hope that a positive environment will result with less stress and conflict. They expect better decision-making, especially when treating complex issues with real differences of views and interests. They believe that better decisions will arise from the recognition of differences, identification of the common good, creative solutions and constructive compromises that are “good enough”.
15. Moral Commitment
Civility promotes 9 values. It is an ethical system that is not dependent upon any specific philosophy, religion or political viewpoint. It is consistent with “classical liberalism” that was developed in the 1700’s in England, Europe and the United States.
It is a subset of a complete moral framework. It is fully adequate to support our day-to-day lives together at work, at play and in government. It attempts to balance the inherent conflicts between the self-aware individual and others and communities.
Individuals commit to this set of values because they believe they are in some sense “true”, morally right, adequate and necessary for society and politics. They hope that their imperfect application of these values will trigger others to make the same commitment. They understand that all humans are imperfect and that the serious pursuit of 9 values is much better than no pursuit at all. They adopt these values and invest in learning behavioral science skills and building habits because they want to do the right thing for future generations and ultimate values.
Summary
Civility offers direct and indirect benefits to individuals. In the end, it is both a practical and a moral choice. We live in a “secular age” where the received religious views can be challenged by well-meaning people. My belief is that our “classical liberal” democracy requires the support of a Civility subset of values. I also believe that our secular society requires this same subset of values to facilitate the interactions and transactions of modern life. I believe that almost all individuals can justify Civility values, behaviors and skill development on a practical basis alone. I hope that the 15 benefits described above will help everyone to make the right choice.
Good News 