Introduction

Cultures exist because individuals need to be combined into communities. Without cultural norms, expectations, education, rewards, penalties and taboos there wouldn’t be any culture, community or civilization. Modern “civility” is a set of values, skills and behaviors required to hold together a diverse, multicultural society like the United States. With the growing breakdown of historic western Christian culture, the US needs to actively embrace the values subset of “civility” in order to make our political, social and economic worlds function effectively. This requires society – and its leaders and influencers – to clearly define select important aspirational values AND to define what is TABOO, poison, shunned, beyond the pale, unacceptable, and rejected by all. We focus on the 8 civility values.

MODERN TABOOS FOR EVERYONE

1. Angry outbursts and yelling.
2. Attacking ideas, opinions and proposals without reason.
3. Raising personal opinions, values or interests above professional responsibility.
4. Ignoring uncivil actions.
5. Allowing high value-added performers to ignore civility standards.
6. Insults or ridicule.
7. Blame or gossip.
8. Taking credit for others’ work.
9. Slavery, torture, rape, female genital mutilation, child marriage.
10. Bullying.
11. Forced marriage.
12. Arbitrary imprisonment.
13. Commercialization of human life, prostitution.
14. Voting rights limits.
15. Group discrimination, shaming.
16. Ignoring or neglecting others; individuals or local groups.
17. Addressing individuals with disrespect.
18. Treating individuals as a means, a class member, rather than a human being, an infinitely valuable end [Immanuel Kant].
19. Gaslighting.
20. Ignoring questions of race, nationality, gender, sexuality, disabilities or mental health.
21. Arbitrarily rejecting personal choices about personal fashion, modesty or body image.
22. Arbitrarily rejecting proposed reparations for historical group damages.
23. Failing to recognize that policies that benefit minorities might unfairly harm majorities.
24. Embracing victimhood.
25. Abdicating responsibility for making personal choices.
26. Failing to use logic to make choices; following will, desire or emotion alone.
27. Failing to define and pursue personal goals.
28. Failing to consider the consequences of one’s personal actions.
29. Allowing others to strictly determine one’s choices (family, groups, ideologies, professionals, experts, science, leaders, political parties, public opinion).
30. Blaming others, making excuses, hiding mistakes.
31. Avoiding personal responsibility by distracting others.
32. Lying, being dishonest.
33. Betraying a group that you should be loyal to.
34. Supporting an individual or group whose legitimacy you question.
35. Strictly promoting personal self-interest above the needs of the community.
36. Ignoring civic participation duties.
37. Failing to trust others and groups after they have trusted you.
38. Ignoring community interests.
39. Allowing others to transgress shared community norms.
40. Ignoring others on a day to day basis.
41. Not listening; interrupting, undermining.
42. Failing to participate in group activities.
43. Ignoring, discounting or undermining others’ attempts to contribute to group decision making.
44. Dominating conversations, especially after being placed on notice.
45. Constant negativity, challenges and skepticism.

Summary

Taboos are a critical dimension of a deeply held moral framework. Civility is based upon society agreeing that some values and their implications are “rock solid”. A few of the taboos above are mainly embraced by the left, but ALL 45 (!!!!!!) are embraced by a supermajority of citizens.

The “liberal” virtue of tolerance can be interpreted as THE value, an allegedly supreme value more important than all/any others. It must not be elevated to this dominant role. Tolerance is important but it is not controlling.

Hence, the underlying civility values of human dignity, respect, acceptance, responsibility, public spiritedness, intentionality, interaction and positivity combine to form a successful common framework for all.

Taboos provide the negative (unacceptable) side of values. Civil people, irrespective of their political opinions, must reject these beliefs, opinions, actions and communications. TRUTH is the ultimate standard. We must all reject beliefs that conflict with the truth.

Avoiding/rejecting these taboos is not easy. We humans are still imperfect. We have to work and work and work to reach for the positive dimensions of the proposed subset of civility virtues, and avoid the taboos.